Ok, I am officially nuts. I have a negative body image, even after losing all this weight. All I can see is the lumps and bumps and faults.
I can now recognise this as a problem, but I don't know what to do about it. I should be so proud of what I have achieved, but all I see is the stomach, the non moving numbers on the scales, it's just crazy!
What prompted this realisation? Looking at photos. A friend gave me photos from my daughter's birthday party in February this year.
I was looking at this
And thinking "Look at the bumps! Look at the belly!!
These photos were given to me today. So I decided to look at the comparison between February this year and 12 months before, which was pre surgery. There has to be some difference, right? I have been feeling really down on myself lately. Quite depressed, really. I need something to show me that things aren't as bad as in my head, cos my inner voice has been giving me a beating.
Wow, Reality hit. I can now see why people tell me I'm fading away to nothing. I can actually really see the difference now. The progress shots in my bathers don't compare.
I have come a long way. I forget that, cos I'm in this body every day.
Time to look after this body. It's been through enough already.