I felt like absolute rubbish last night. I was exhausted. I'd been falling asleep all day. I have been staying up until 1 in the morning playing Facebook games and watching the new channel 11. OMG, I love the shows they have on there. staying up so late watching them is a bad, bad thing!
Just before Christmas I was collateral damage from a small family tiff. A couple of rellies removed me from their friends list on Facebook. One put me back on before new years, the other didn't. At that stage I didn't care, I don't particularly like this person anyway.
I noticed last night she's been adding rellies back onto her Facebook. I have obviously lost the plot because I was upset that she didn't add me!! That was the point that I realised I'm not doing to well at the moment. I am also convinced that one of my friends doesn't like me any more. I must have done something wrong. I always do. I haven't asked her, but we haven't seen each other much in the last couple of weeks, so it's of course my fault!
So lack of sleep, irratic medication, a feeling of being out of control, I'm feeling pretty miserable at the moment.
I have removed almost all the Facebook games again. I have become a Facebook Zombie. My poor kids have missed out on a lot of time with me. It's not fair on them. My house is constantly a bomb site, but I have been able to pretend it doesn't exist because I just keep my eyes on the computer monitor. Time to come out of the coma and start living again.
I was in bed about 2 hours earlier last night. I woke up about 15 minutes before the alarm went off this morning. I feel better if I wake up on my own rather than get woken up. My girls are the same. I hate waking them up, it's much better if they wake themselves up.
So, small changes, hopefully I'll be out of the fog soon. I've managed to stay smoke free, although that's taken a lot of strength and distraction. Hmmm... one addiction for another. Why can't I become addicted to exercise and salad??
Til next time,
Ness.
Ness take care. I wish there was some magic remedy for all that but there isn't.
ReplyDeleteWhat I can say is that you somehow need to learn to walk away from the bullshit. You do NOT need others peoples crap infecting your life. You are such a beautiful person, it is time to stand up and let that be known.
YOU make the decisions who is on your FB Friends List. Don't let others make those decisions. If someone does not want to be on there then THEY ARE NOT WORTHY OF YOUR FRIENDSHIP. Simple as that.
Yes, I know it is hard. Believe me I have been there. But you have to do what is right for you and your family. And what is right is that you are not dragged into other peoples issues. They are their issues - let them deal with them.
I will see you in a few weeks and will give you a massive hug. Try and remember that those of us who know you know what a big and wonderful heart you have. Everyone else can piss off! :)
Ness you are sounding quite unhappy at the moment.
ReplyDeleteBut I got to tell you do you know how hard it is to cantact you. You have said your mobile has'nt been working the last couple of times I have text you, it took you days to get back to me. The last mesage on face book I hav'nt heard anything. I have even trying ringing but you were'nt home. So maybe it is not you, maybe your friend is having the same troubles as me:)
Ken is home have you asked him for help with the house :)
As for facebook I understand how you can get addicted but there is a positive, with the crap I have had in the last month or so my addiction to Cityville has actually kept me sane.
Family well they suck I moved states to avoid mine and now i have no problems well I can ignore it much easier so pretend you another state and ignore the crap.
And us for rising early you and the kids are going to hate me I am planing on getting up at 6am or earlier when we are in Adelaide I want to go walking every morning apparently they have nice river.
Love you and don't be too hard on yourself and consider this a kick up the bum to get you out of your slump.
Ness... Have you tried the Flexi Time Plan .. I used to use it when I was spending to much time in the Garden and neglecting Family and Everyday Cleaning ..it works like this .. do your self up a Board and add Children Time .. Hubby Time ..or just Family Time and then add all your chores for the day and do include shopping and takeing the Kids to School .. then against this add Me Time Points put what points you want to I used 5 for easy stuff and 10 for Family make an allowance for the days and when you have made that amount ..You are on Flexi time and can do as you want for that amount of time ..I included all cleaning including washing windows cleaning Blinds etc and I tell you I had the tidy's House a Happy Family and a Prize winning Garden ..
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