I actually filled in my food diary last night. I needed to face what I am doing to myself. I went to bed last night telling myself what a horrible person I am. I woke up this morning and remembered another 2000 calories that I had forgotten to put in yesterday.
It was a bad day. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I just ate, and ate, and ate. Amy wanted cheese spread on toast last night. I'd let Amy buy the cheese spread, even though it is on my banned foods list. I hadn't had it for so long.
There is a reason I don't have it in the house. I eat it like it's going out of fashion.
It might have been a reaction to the solidifying of my gains of last week. I thought maybe I'd lose some of the weight I put on last week. But it stayed, along with another 100g gain.
I know, not the way to deal with weight gain. I've not been looking after myself. I just haven't cared. As my blogs have shown. All the "goals for today" that don't get another mention because I "forget" or I give up by the afternoon, and trying to wake up to myself. I have let the wheels fall off and I feel like I'm treading water.
I have started today with my cup of oats. I tend to get so busy with the girls in the morning that I forget to have breakfast, only to come home later and eat the contents of the kitchen. So today, I have fed myself before running around like a mad thing.
I have 1/2 hour to get 4yo to kinder!! And we're all sitting here in our Pyjamas!! Um, gotta go!!
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