Wow, this is post one hundred!! Cue the fanfare, balloons and streamers!!!

... Ok, maybe not!!

Today was just "a day in the life". I took 4yo swimming this morning. Then went bowling (to prebowl for next week), then 4yo had 4yo kinder orientation. Then it was time to pick 5yo up from school and take her to swimming.

Nothing weightloss related happened, unless you count 15 minutes of breastroke across the kids pool as exercise.

Everyone is tired. The whole family. Poor 5yo is having mean things said to her at school. yesterday she informs me that one of her friends told her that Santa and the tooth fairy don't exist. Today she's been called fat by two different girls and was punched in the stomach by one of them. And these girls are supposed to be her friends! And she fell over and hurt her eye. I want to go and slap these girls, but of course, I wont. I'll be writing a letter to the principal and asking him to forward it on to her teacher.
And if she informs me that she doesn't want to go to school in the morning, I'm not going to fight her. Who knows what she'll come home with tomorrow? I held a sad, tired girl in my arms tonight, and it breaks my heart.  I can see myself in her. I loved the classroom, but hated playtime. I don't want that for her. She's a beautiful girl, with a good heart. She doesn't deserve this.

Til next time,
Ness.

Monday, where did that go??

Ok, so my logic for changing my weigh in day has gone right out the window!! This week there was no change on Sunday and a 500g loss on Monday!! I give up trying to work it out!!

I had to take Ken to the hospital last night. He was in pain and it felt different to normal to him, so we sat in the waiting room for over 4 hours. We fell asleep in there. I woke up and Ken said "this is crazy, lets go home. They had given him some panadeine forte and it seemed to help him a little. He wasn't pacing, unable to sit down anymore. He hadn't seen a doctor, but he seemed to be coping with it better. So I went to the desk to let them know we were going. All of a sudden I went dizzy and fainted!! They scooped me up onto a bed and took me inside. Amazing where beds can come from when you need them, hey?? My blood pressure was 92/50. It came up again, I rested for an hour or so. They took my pressure again when I stood up and it wasn't very good. Ken had to drive home!! What a pair we make!! 3:30 this morning we got home.

So today I haven't done much more than sleep and rest. I didn't even get dressed! Jammie day. I'll try and make a doctor's appointment tomorrow.  I don't know if I fainted because I hadn't drunk enough yesterday, or if my weightloss has something to do with it. Maybe my obesity kept my blood pressure normal??  My mum has low blood pressure, so it's something to investigate.

Saw Harry Potter on Sunday. Gees, it was loud. And I jumped, lots!! :-) I enjoyed it, except for the volume. And the hand held camera work at times, it hurt my eyes. but the story was good. Or is that cos it's been so long since I read it I can't compare the book and the movie? :-)
Oh, and Katt- it stayed to the book, the kiss isn't real. :-)

Til Next Time,
Ness

Ahhh, Thursdays. The one day I have nothing to do until I pick 5yo up from school.
I was exhausted yesterday. I succeeded in having a huge blue with Hubby and then ignoring him, and I was in bed by 8:30. It would have been earlier, but I really wanted to watch "Good News Week" that I'd taped on Monday night.

I feel like I haven't stopped for the last couple of weeks and, while I want to stop, there is no sign of things slowing down before Christmas. Then in the new year, I am ripping out my kitchen so we can get a new one put in. It's only taken us 10 years to do this!!

But anyway, I've been busy, I'm tired, grumpy, still sore.

But for once it's because I'm doing things. On Tuesday I went to the pool twice. 4yo had her lesson in the morning, so I went and did laps, all 400m of them. :-) Then in the afternoon 5yo had her lesson, so we went in again and had a play. The girls slept well that night. I didn't hear boo out of them.
But I was bloody cold! Now, our local pool is "environmentally friendly" (read:- tight arses on the heating bill) and you have to brace yourself to get in there. I think this sucks for an indoor pool. They also had a door open that blew a cool breeze over the pool. I know my internal thermostat is pretty screwed at the moment, but after 45 minutes, I just couldn't stay in there anymore. I love the water, so I was disappointed that I couldn't stay longer. My reduced insulation is taking quite a lot to get used to. And they don't heat the pool up enough.

Wednesday morning is workout day. I go to a friend's place and use her home gym. She has a treadmill, bike, recumbant bike, ab roller and air walker. And the freaky one you move your feet in and out and it works the inner thighs. I don't bother with that one. But I use all the others. It's good and we've done it for about a month now.

I've been off and picked up 5yo from school and have lost the total gist of what I was trying to say with this blog. 5pm is where I hit the wall and can't think anymore. So I might leave it here and try again tomorrow.

Although, I will say, I had a look at my weightloss over the last 2 months. I'm averaging 100g a week at the moment. Not moving mountains, but it's chipping away. It's not as bad as I thought. If I take the zigzagging out of it, it doesn't look that bad. ;-)

Til next time,
Ness.

Ok, I've decided that Monday is a crap day for weigh in. I seem to gain weight between Sunday and Monday. So I'm changing it to Sunday. At least for one week I'll have a loss!! Sundays look so much better!! I seem to hit my lowest weights on a Sunday. For some reason, I weigh myself on the Sunday. I rarely weigh myself any other day. It just does my head in!!
I've lost 600 grams since last week, but gained 700g in a day!! I was so sure I'd be at a new lowest weight for my official weigh in. Oh, well. If you pissfart around, you don't get anywhere. "A goal without a due date is just a dream". So, for now I dream. :-p

Anyway, on to my week. I had my garage sale on Saturday, made $87.50, which wasn't bad for spending the day sitting on my doorstep reading David Hicks' memoirs (personally, I think it reads like a screenplay. If he's not trying to sell the movie rights, I'd be very surprised.)  I'd spent the week going through my house, trying to be ruthless and get rid of stuff.  Worked off a few calories lugging the "merchandise" (AKA crap I don't want anymore) out and then what was left into the garage until this morning when it was loaded into a trailer and went to the op shop.

On Sunday I worked at 5yo's school at their working bee. 3 hours of weeding certainly works those glutes and hamstrings!!! I was so sore this morning. It made bowling interesting!!

Now, the funniest thing happened last week. I was on the computer (no surprises there) and the dog started barking. Then yelping in the way that means he's scared shitless or in pain. Ken went out to have a look what was wrong. I heard a woman's voice say "it's probably me". I thought it was coming from next door, but no, we had a woman in our back yard!! She was an elderly woman and she'd just walked in, didn't ring the doorbell, just went through our gate!! I didn't quite know what was going on when Ken brought her inside, but I soon found out that she was looking to get a jump on the garage sale!
I swear to God, this woman straight away reminded me of Nan from the "Catherine Tate Show".  If you don't know who she is, watch this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Emu9oWc5KyI

She kept saying "how do you put up with the kids?" Complained about the oldies in the village she lives in, but didn't quite swear the way that "Nan" does. She ended up buying a stool, then proceeded to complain about how hard it was to sit on!! She came back on Saturday and told me she'd made a cushion for it.
The kicker for me was when she mentioned the previous owners. I told her their name but she didn't know. She then mentioned how she had a scooter that had broken down on the way home. I said "that was us, we loaded it on the trailer and took it home for you" She wasn't convinced and said " but it was a big lady"
"Yes that was me!" I remember this, the poor thing was pushing the bloody thing!!
She was shocked, I was stoked!! This woman sugarcoats nothing!! She didn't even recognise me. It wasn't until 5yo walked in and she remembered her that she was convinced.

I know, it shouldn't take a stranger to reinforce what all my friends are telling me, but I guess I dismiss what my friends say, cos they're my friends, they're supposed to be nice to me. :-)

Hmmm... my friends can be pretty honest. Maybe I should listen to them more...

Til next time,
Ness.

Week 3 Day 6

Slack, slack, slack!!

Ok, so last week's weigh in saw me gain 1/2 kilo, but an unofficial weigh in saw me lose another 100g off my lowest weight, so go figure?

Focus hasn't been good, obviously, cos I haven't been on here. I guess I didn't want to do a negative blog, cos no one wants to read that, right?

But as I am writing this for me, and I know the  one or two people who do read this who would kick my butt for not writing, here we go!!

I have been feeling pretty down. Last Monday I just stayed at home and was miserable. I was supposed to go bowling and just didn't feel like it. I spent the afternoon deleting gaming friends from Facebook. (I've deleted most of my games, except packrat)
I deleted one friend who had been a good friend, but had just disappeard from my life. It was sad, but it was harder to see photos of her kids come up on my Facebook. I miss them.
I had to go pick 5yo up from school. I saw my teammates, one of them made me laugh and I realised that everything would be ok.

I don't know why I am so intent on not reaching my goal of 106 kilos. It's 3 kilos FFS!! I am not eating right, I haven't been making exercise part of my routine. I am sabotaging majorly.

My counsellor is starting to get peeved with me. I can see her point. I am the only one who can do this. Nobody else can.

It's 5 o'clock. I want to go and eat. While it is coming onto tea time, I did have a banana only an hour or so ago. I think it's more the fact that my printer is out of ink and I can't even read the Superannuation rollover form that I wanted to fill in and post off tomorrow. I can't fix it now, so I'm getting a little stressed.

6pm. I'm over the printer... I had a piece of raisin toast at 5:30. I've made the girls dinners. So appreciative, 4yo says "yuk" and 5yo is waiting for it to cool down... hmmm...

6:30,I've tidied my computer desk, so I know where everything is and have gotten rid of the crap that shouldn't be there. I'm trying to make space so I can do the homework the counsellor set me.  Hubby's just walked in and I'm off to make his dinner.

Gee, this has turned into an exciting blog. I can even distract myself from blogging by finding other stuff to do.

Maybe one day I'll be able to do one thing at a time and finish it before I start the next thing... Maybe!!

Til next time,
Ness.

Week 2:Day 2

Ok, it's been an interesting day or so. I have a storage unit that we had put stuff in so we had room to paint and then sell our house. We changed our minds and are staying now. We'd mucked around with emptying it, but we got a letter saying that they are upping our rent by $25 per month, starting this month, that's got our butts into gear and we have 3 weeks to empty it.
I had a bag in there that I'd bought at Kylie's garage sale a couple years ago. I didn't have a clue what I'd put in there, but it turns out there were some "too small" clothes in there (we'd packed this unit before my surgery). There are two tops that are now too big and some shorts that I'd wondered in passing what had happened to them. They are loose, but not too big yet. Very happy with this find as I'm rapidly running out of clothes again, particularly pants.

I made another discovery yesterday. Now it could be bleedin' obvious to everyone else, but a kilo isn't the same for someone who is 150kg compared to someone 109kg or smaller.

I put on my black jeans yesterday morning, my favourite black jeans, so comfy, always loved them. They are now too big. I couldn't even do a belt with them, they just look too baggy. The jeans I ended up wearing are rapidly going down the same path, and the belt I bought to hold them all up with. It's been the first time I've been sad that something doesn't fit anymore.

Now, to get to my point, When I was 150kg, losing one kilo, while fantastic, didn't really make me look any different. It took a few losses to make my clothes feel looser, and certainly many of them together to change sizes. And in my last effort, about 20kg before people started noticing that I was losing weight. But I now see what people mean when they say don't buy too many clothes while you're shrinking, cos it's now that the sizes are starting to matter. I had to go and change a size 20 top for a size 18 one yesterday. I'd only bought it a couple of weeks ago!! It's just unreal! A couple of kilos is actually noticable in my clothes now.

I used to be quite a "Fattist" before this surgery. I'll be honest, I thought that anyone who wasn't around my starting weight size wasn't "bad" enough to have the surgery. I even went to the surgeon thinking that he might not do the surgery because I wasn't big enough.
I now see that I was just oblivious to what I had done to myself to get to that state, and now that I see what that kilo or two difference makes at the size I am now, I can totally understand why someone who had gained and gone up those sizes so quickly (and unlike me didn't put their head in the sand) would want to change their lives before they became like me! Cos I'm starting to feel the benefits of not having 42 extra kilos on me now that I am moving around more!

I didn't get the poor dog out for a walk this morning. I stayed in bed until 9am. Love the Melbourne Cup! Purely cos it gives us a public holiday. It was an hour and a half after the race was run that I remembered to check to see who won!
Anyway, I promised the girls that we could go swimming this morning since they don't have lessons today. We were there for almost 2 hours! It was fantastic. We're tired now, but it was lovely to spend that time in the pool and not be watching the clock after the first hour so we can go home. We played in all the pools, the girls had a ball!

We went to McDonalds for lunch. I tried the Mcdippers. Very yum, but I can't eat 3. I had 2, but shouldn't have picked at the girls chips afterwards. Was feeling a bit full! Bit scary that the ranch dipping sauce that I had was only 10 calories less than the dippers I ate!! (131 and 141) Should have gone with the honey mustard, it's only got 64 calories. And to add to this, you get given two portions of dipping sauce!! I only used one, but in theory, there were more calories in all the dip than in the dippers, and they're not the healthiest option to begin with! Yummy though. :-)

Til next time,
Ness.

100 pounds lost challenge week 1

Weigh in day today. The first week of my challenge saw me lose 1.7kg. This takes me to a new lowest weight of 109.2kg. Only 3.1kg to go!
Much of this will be fluid, but it's a nice, big number to start with!

I am a bit lost today. I normally go bowling, but I was asked to do canteen duty. So I pre-bowled yesterday. Then I get a message last night to say that I didn't need to do canteen duty. So I've caught up on some washing this morning, but it just feels weird. I've been running around so much, now I don't have much to do. Except the housework, and I'm not jumping up to do that in a hurry!!

I didn't take the dog out for a walk today. I will certainly make an effort to do it tomorrow. I don't want to post a gain next week!

Til next time,
Ness.