Reflection

Feeling a lot more positive today. I need to make changes, cos I'm not eating as well as I should. I have gained weight. This should not be happening and I have to take responsibility for my diet and not rely on my body to deal with it all. I also have a real fear of going back to the surgeon with a gain for him to record. I already had a small gain last time and I have to reverse that so I don't undo my good work.
I know that sounds silly, but when I had the sleeve, I physically could not eat much. I didn't feel hunger and I couldn't emotionally eat because it didn't fit! Now I can eat more than I could before. Twice as much, it seems. I'm not back to where I was, but I don't get the pain of fullness anymore. If I eat too much, I feel sick. Apparently this is not enough to pull me into line.
I haven't been drinking water, it's been coffee and tea all the time. I started today with a big glass of water. I'm sipping that at the moment. I've also snuck back into Calorieking.com.au and started logging my food. This is probably the most important factor. I can eat a normal diet now. Unfortunately I haven't been taking advantage of that and eating healthy food. There was a risk of dumping syndrome with the bypass. It did happen a little earlier in the piece, but I'm not having a huge reaction to chocolate or junk food. Not good.

This is why I wanted a sleeve, to be able to physically stop myself eating! My body has forsaken me!

Exercise is to come. For now I need to get this water into me.

til next time,
Ness