Oh boy, I feel like crap.

I let Amy decide what to eat and didn't question it at all. It wasn't pretty.

I saw my counsellor today and worked through some issues. Well, one main issue. Do I go to this funeral or not?

I can see that if I don't go because my mother doesn't go to funerals, then how does that make me any better than her? It's just doing what she is doing.

My counsellor said if there is any doubt at all that I should go, because there is only one chance. I can't change my mind in a few weeks.

The only problem now is finding a babysitter for the girls. The funeral is in the early afternoon. I can't guarantee I can get back before School pickups. My whole support base is mums with school age kids!! The only other person is the girls' Nanna, but I couldn't expect her to watch them for more than an hour. She loves being with the girls, but she in her 70s and it would be too much for her...

...I called my niece. She has a friend who can watch the girls for me. A qualified childcare worker. So it looks like I'm going. I've not told Ken. I haven't really spoken to him about it, but as far as he knows, Amy has spoken. He's got date night, so he wont even be home.

My counsellor said that actually making the decision will lessen some of the stress, no matter which way it goes. I say that this stress wont be gone until Friday afternoon.

But right now, sleep calls me. I have a quiet morning tomorrow, no kinder in the morning! Yay!