My Progress

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I received a sad phone call tonight. My stepfather passed away. It's not sad for me, just sad when anyone dies. I hadn't seen him in probably 8 years.

I really don't know what I'm supposed to do with it. Amy is just throwing a tanty!! I saw my mother on Christmas day for the first time in over 3 years. I wasn't planning on seeing her for another 3years. Amy isn't going to the funeral. My mother never went to my mother in laws, my father in laws, or two of her oldest friends funerals. She informed me of one of the friend's passing on Christmas Day, 3 weeks after the funeral! Then had the audacity to make a crack about nobody letting her know, she had to read it in the paper. I nearly bit my tongue off to not say "what's the fucking point? You wouldn't have gone anyway." She went to my uncle's funeral (I'm sure it was only because the chapel it was held in was new and she wanted to check it out) and to an afternoon tea wake for an "Aunty" (everyone was an Aunty or Uncle when I was a kid! the uncle was actually my Dad's brother, this one was a friend of the family). She only went to the afternoon tea to show off my stepfather to her friends. I got told about it after the fact, and we were still talking then!

My mother tried to make my stepfather my new Daddy, while at the same time dropping me like a hot potato. We only communicated when I rang her, then all I heard about was her stepdaughter in law. I stopped calling her. She never picked up the phone to see how I was. Too busy showing off the new husband.

The adult me feels that I should go to the funeral. Amy is far too hurt to face it.

What a shame, it will be on at the same time as our first week back to playgroup. I couldn't possibly miss playgroup.

Sorry Amy's dominating at the moment. I just had to get this all out.
It will never be said to the person who most needs to hear it.

They are deaf ears.


  1. {{hugs}} hope you make the right decision for you!

  2. {{{{{hugs}}}}} Don't worry about your Mum. Have a "chat" to Amy and see if you can work out what is best for you. Take care Ness.

  3. Ness .."Amy" has been your best friend for a long time . listen to her evn write a letter to her if you need too and I am sure the decision that is made will be the right one for you and "Amy"sending all my Love to you Berys