The hundred pound challenge. Day 7

I have been flat out the last couple of days. Friday I was up at 6:45. thanks to my darling 5yo. So I took the time to make the birthday cake for Saturday. We had playgroup and canteen duty. 5yo had swimming at school, 4yo was dragged along with me to canteen, so we were all stuffed by the end of the day. We picked up Haylee early from the youth centre and she caught a taxi to youth group just so the little ones didn't have to go out in the car again. I also spent the evening getting potato salad made, decorating the cake and trying to get the house presentable for guests.

Saturday we went to the dentist first thing. Haylee had been complaining about her wisdom teeth. She also needed a filling. We were all due to go anyway, I like taking the little ones so they have a positive experience there, not just take them when there is something wrong. It doesn't cost us anything for them, so it's all good.
Me, on the other hand, have to get my teeth cleaned. My teeth are so sensitive, I hate it. Yesterday they had to numb my bottom gum to be able to do it, and it still hurt!!
So I went straight from the dentist to work. Had a fantastic, easy time there, and then came home and had a fantastic day with my family and friends for 4yo's birthday.

It was interesting yesterday. It was the first party I'd had since my surgery. I didn't overeat, I had overcatered for lunch, but some of the guests stayed for dinner, so I had enough for that and didn't have much leftover.
It was the first time, after a party, that I didn't feel bloated and full and like I'd overeaten. Normally it's one of my excuses to go crazy. I did have a cheese platter out that I really enjoyed (and got the blue cheese all to myself :-) ) but even then I didn't go overboard. I was tidying up at the end of the night and actually felt my tummy grumble!!
Don't know what the calories would have been, with me enjoying that cheese, but yesterday morning I was back down to 109.4kg. Don't know what the official number will be on Monday!! Guess we'll wait and see. :-)

It's nice to be able to spend this morning relaxing. I have to go to work this afternoon, but it's lovely to not have to plan and rush and worry that I've forgotten anything. I love having parties for my girls, I wouldn't do it otherwise, but they do tire me out!!

Til next time,
Ness

The Hundred Pound Challenge:- Day 4

I spent this morning cleaning the kitchen and dining room. Then I did some costume making for 5yo's school concert. I sorted through some paperwork, paying bills (oh yay), then I hit the wall. I was stuffed!! I had to go to the market after school pick up  and get some salad stuff for Saturday's get together and tonight I ended up dozing off while reading a book, leaving the kids to be late to bed again.

I am yawning my head off now and it's only 8:40pm!! I don't know if I'll make it to Saturday!!

Lots of movement today, so not stressed about the dog missing his walk. Nachos for lunch, Chips for dinner. No wonder I'm tired!!!

Til next time,
Ness.

The hundred pound challenge:- Day 3

I got my butt out of bed this morning and took the dog for a walk. It's 20 minutes, allows the girls to eat their breakfast without me nagging them and gets my exercise over first thing. I also left the car at kinder and walked to the shops again. I also walked around the shops, pushing a trolley that was a challenge to steer when full, so it was an upper body workout too. :-)

Only have to feed myself tonight, so I had nachos. I don't have sour cream or guacamole, so it's not as unhealthy, but i'm the only one who eats it, so I enjoyed it. :-)

Very tired now, need to get to bed earlier. I gave in and Added a CSI game on my facebook. It's not as intensive and I can't play it for very long cos I run out of energy. :-) But I have been reading blogs and getting things ready for 4yo's party on Saturday.

Starting to waffle. Can't think of what I wanted to say today. Oh, yeah!, I went to Autograph today, they had $20 off for VIP members. I tried on a dress, but was really disappointed. The top looked fantastic, but the bottom half clinged and I could see the bumps on my belly!! :-( It was the first time I found a dress with sleeves too!! But I found a top that I really liked, I liked it even more when I had to get a size 18!! :-)

Til next time,
Ness.

Day two of the 100 pound challenge!!

I got in the pool today!! Woohoo!! I have missed the water so much!! We went in early and had a play and I swam and stretched and generally enjoyed being in the water while 4yo had her lesson.
I was a little disappointed, cos my size 22 bathers didn't fit, I had to wear my size 24 ones. But as they are Speedos, I figure their sizing is as wrong as the netball skirt manufacturers!! (I can now put my size 26 skirt on comfortably. An example of why numbers shouldn't determine your mood!)

I bit the bullet!! I removed all bar one Facebook game!! I kept Packrat, mainly for sentimental reasons, I've been playing it on and off for over 2 years!! I was going to leave some on to help out my friends, but I'm hopeless, I'll do that for a while and then I'll just start playing again. So they have to go.
I have to be careful, though. I've stopped playing games and started reading blogs!! Don't want one obsession to replace another!

5yo has been nagging me to go to the "bikkie" shop. At our local shops has the Terlada bakery which makes the yummiest shortbread bikkies. We buy the seconds, which are mostly just the wrong size, occasionally a little too caramelised, but always very yummy.
I had a billy tea and lime flavour OMG, so good. It's been so long since I had one, I'd forgotten how good these biscuits are...until I put the details into the computer. I don't have the exact nutritional information, so I used the generic "shortbread" details. 250 CALORIES!! Just as well I'd gone swimming this morning!! :-)

So far so good on the food front. I had porridge for breakfast, then lamb curry and mashed potato for lunch (it was more a tomato casserole that a curry) Calories are cruising along. if I could just find my water bottle, I wouldn't have an excuse for not having drunk any water!!

Need to plan for tonight so I don't sit there eating! Let's see what's for dinner...


Til next time,
Ness.

Today, exercise was good. I got up this morning and took the dog for a walk. I went 10 pin bowling (I regard that as a bit of resistance training), then after dropping 4yo off at Kinder, I walked to the shops, then had to walk back again!! I was tired when I got home from picking up 5yo from school.

Food was another matter. I started the day well, I took my snack for morning tea and was going along fine, until I got home from school. I seem to leave it way too long from lunchtime until after school pickup, then I eat!! Afternoon/evenings are where it all goes pear shaped!! the next thing I have to look at is meal planning.
I hate afternoons. I feel so tired and can't be bothered cooking dinner. Why should I when I make what I think is a delicious, nutritious dinner and the kids turn their noses up and tell me they want cocktail franks or a peanut butter sandwich? I tell them eat it or go without, but it still frustrates the shit out of me that they wont even try something new!! Not everything I try works, but most things do.

I drank more water today than yesterday too. I gotta keep looking at the good things I've done today or I'll give up tomorrow. Turn the positive switch on!!

I drew a big "106" and got the girls to color it in. It's up on my wardrobe door to get me out of bed in the morning. I weighed in this morning and, unfortunately, I've got a little extra to lose. just under 5kg. Still an achievable goal. Hopefully the extra 1.5kg is fluid and I can drink it away. :-)

Facebook is another issue I need to deal with. I am spending waaaaayyyy too much time on it. To the detriment of sleep. And time with my girls. But I don't know if I'm ready to give up the games yet.
I am very sad. I have cut down, so I'm not playing as many games, but they are becoming more and more intensive, so much you can do on one application. 
Time to really think about just keeping my "real" friends on there and letting the gaming friends go. And letting the games go. eventually.

Til next time,
Ness.

Ok, last night I was rather miserable. Not in a jump off a building way, but I had a few really busy days and yesterday was my 3yo's birthday party with her friends. Last night I was exhausted!! My back was out, all my muscles ached.
I couldn't help thinking "Bloody hell!! I've lost 42kg and things still haven't changed"!!

Ok, so taking into account, I'd worked before the party, so hadn't stopped ALL day, plus the fact I hadn't been taking my medication that helps my fibromyalgia, plus I was running after children ALL day, no wonder I was tired and sore.  When I went to bed, I stretched and cracked my back to ease the pain. It's so nice to feel it go back into place.

This morning, I got up and my back was fine and the only things that were sore were my feet, which was only a little bit and eased once they warmed up. So my findings are that 42kg, while not curing everything in the whole world, does help recovery to be quicker. I was worried that I couldn't work today, but I'll be fine.

Now, another interesting thing, Escape from Obesity has lost 100 pounds!! That is a fantastic effort, terrific job and I can't wait to see her photos cos she's got "skinny" jeans (my term not hers, she sounds very happy!! )

I decided to see how many pounds I've lost now. So easy to do, Google "Pounds kilos" and a huge list of pages with converters come up. :-)

So, I have now lost 42.1kg, which converts to 92.8 pounds!!
so I have 7.2 pounds to lose to reach 100 pounds which is 3.2kg!!

So I want my scales to hit 106.1kg!! I converted that to pounds, but it's not a pretty number, so we'll leave it at that. :-)

Time to get this body moving!!

Ok, I am having a weird morning in Blog world. I decided to catch up on a couple of blogs that I like to read.

The first one was "http://escapefromobesity.blogspot.com/" She spoke about her spacial awareness and how getting through shop aisles and the space between say a table and a chair is so hard to judge. Before she was bumping into everything and not realising how far out the bum or hips stick out. Now she looks at how little the car door can open in the car park and surprises herself by still being able to get out! (Hopefully I was paraphrasing and not plagiarising her blog. Apologies for any non accredited quotes)
I totally related to her blog. Those things have happened to me!! I have also started buying new clothes, since the old ones are pretty much falling off me. I had to get 2 sizes smaller than I thought. It's good to know that my lack of "body awareness" isn't just my own quirk.

So then I have a look at http://jackfit.blogspot.com/ otherwise known as "Jack sh*t getting fit". yesterday's entry was some cute limericks, but the day before was talking about putting before and after shots on your blog. Getting out of your comfort zone and showing the world how far you'd come. I don't know how clothed they thought you should be, I guess that's up to the individual.
I have a before and an "after 40kg" shot that have me in my bathers. I have been reluctant to put them up, working out the best place for them, to have the least ridicule. Thanks to Jack, I am going to be brave and post them on here once I publish this. It's 11:42am on Thursday here, and it may take me a while to figure it out (just getting the hyperlinks on here was fun!! ) But I am putting myself out there!!

Wish me luck!!

Til next time,
Ness.

Edit:- Ok, I give up, I wanted it to be impressive like Escape from Obesity's, where she has links

to her progress shots, but I don't know how to do it, so here they are. try not to laugh or dry wretch too loudly!!:-

Front view...

Side view

Wake up call!!!

So, yesterday I decided I would keep track of what I ate all day. According to Calorie King, I should be eating 1720 calories. I'll take that, cos I've been using 2000 calories as what I was "supposed" to be having for a long time. As soon as I started trying to drop the number, I would start feeling deprived and sabotage myself.

The scales have slowed on there downwards trend, I need to assess what I'm doing so I can change things and get them moving. I only have 10 kilos before I hit my first major goal of double figures!!

Things are different now, I can't eat what I used to, or can I??

So, I start with a slice of raisin toast. The old me could eat a whole loaf of this stuff in one day. 1 slice now is plenty.

Morning tea was shaved ham and Philly on cruskits.

I made a roast pork for lunch. I was supposed to do this on Thursday night, but it was still frozen. It was the best pork I'd ever cooked!! It was tender and yummy and I picked at it almost all afternoon.
The roast veggies weren't as good, but my neighbour called in and threw out my timing. Which is possibly why the meat was so good. Normally I am impatient and am cutting the cooked meat from the edges and throwing the rest back in the oven while we eat.

We also had a couple of chocolate blinky bills in the afternoon.

So, when I added all this up, I'd reached 1420 calories! This was the point where I'd stopped recording. I only had a couple of hundred calories left and I always eat more at night. Once the kids go to bed and I can have something in peace without being interrupted!

I had a bowl of icecream when the kids were in bed and some cheese and bikkies (le snacks) when I was in bed.

When I got up this morning and thought about what I had eaten, I was sure I'd been a complete pig and God knows how much I'd eaten. I was going to stretch my stomach back to what it was and all the surgery and time in hospital would be for nothing!! no wonder I wasn't losing anything!!

As I started writing this blog I decided to get some perspective and record everything else I'd eaten last night.

The total for the day? 2088 calories. More than I need, but nothing on what my old self could put away.

And looking at it, not a drop of plain water passed my lips yesterday. There was coffee, juice and milk, but no water. My logic of this is that if I drink, I can't eat. It causes pain in my stomach. As I have now proven that I am eating more than enough, I can release this logic and work on my water. Maybe 1 litre, (4 glasses) over the day? I can work my way up to 2 litres.

I am also weighing everything so I can get an accurate picture. I'm not worrying about what it is (I need to go grocery shopping) , that can be the next step.

An enlightening Sunday. Bring on the week!! It will be interesting to see what the total calories are for today. I'm half way to my water goal already and it's not even lunchtime!!

til next time,
Ness

I did it!! I had a really good night, both company wise and food wise!!

I had 1 plates with a bit of my favourite seafood and pasta salad (took out the pasta) 1 piece of salt and pepper squid (OMG, soooooo good!) and a mini dim sim that I just ate the guts of.

Dessert was coconut sorbet (new since I was there last, yummmmmmy!!) and I went and got the silliest looking baby servings of chocolate mousse, sticky date pudding and chocolate pudding and a little whipped cream. I took my time and enjoyed every mouthful!

Through out this dining experience I had a glass of my favourite type of wine, moscato.

I may not have got my money's worth foodwise (hubby's comment on the way home), but I enjoyed it all the same.

Another step in my new life.

til next time,
Ness.

I'm off to a buffet dinner tonight. It's the first time since I got my smaller tummy.
It's for a friend's birthday, so I want to go, but I am so bad at self control.
I've been there before, so I know roughly what I can have. I'm thinking I could just skip the mains and have some dessert. :-) They have a fantastic dessert bar!!

I just have to remember, small serves and eat slow. We'll be there for a couple of hours. If I pace myself, I'll be fine.
I will pace myself and be fine.


the wierdest thing. My drainage tube site hasn't been healing. Turns out there was a staple in there! It came out on Wednesday night and now it's healing!! Yay!! But why didn't it show up on the many scans I had?? Strange.
But fingers crossed, again, this is it and I wont have to worry about leaking any more!!!!!

Apparently John Lennon would have been 70 today. It's sad the people who are taken from this world too soon. I saw a doco on Nirvana last night. Imagine Kurt Cobain and John Lennon doing a song together, it would have been amazing!!

Til next time,
Ness.

Saw my counsellor today. I'm now working on affirmations.

"It is ok for me to eat whenever I need to"
and
"I will keep getting smaller and that is a good thing".

I have to keep repeating these to myself until they sink in.

The old "fake it til you make it!!"

Every time I come on here, I go "wow, it's been ages since I've been on here!!" Tonight is no different.



I read my last post, in June. I wasn't at the other end of my troubles. The doctors would have me nil by mouth which, of course, would reduce the amount leaking out of my stomach. I would go home and end up back in again when I started putting my stomach under any strain. It didn't take much. When water was pouring out of the drainage tube hole, then diet coke, then the blue dye they made me drink to test it, they finally glued the hole up.

But I'm still leaking. Just a little, but I'm back in for a day procedure in a couple of weeks. More glue.



I have lost 42kg now. the procedure has done it's job. I am eating less and losing weight.

My head hasn't caught up with the scales. I've started going clothes shopping. My body apparently is a size 20 now. My head still thinks my body is a size 24. I still have to stop myself from thinking "I can't get that, what if I gain weight and can't wear it? I have to remind myself to get a smaller size if I want to put it away for a while, not a bigger one. It's such a weird feeling.



Even wearing the clothes that I have bought feels weird. I have been wearing my size 24-26 clothes even now, so to wear that size 20, I think "is it too small" and have the feelings that I had when I would wear clothes that I had grown out of because I'd put on weight, but had to wear cos nothing else fit. I guess I fear I am going too small too quickly with my clothes. But I can't get a bigger size, cos it wont last.

I have never really felt comfortable in clothes, never know what looks good. But I can't be naked, cos I'd get arrested. Not to mention making people around me feel physically ill.



So much fodder for my next counselling session!!!



Til next time,

Ness.