Things have settled down with the stent. It's uncomfortable at times, but no longer painful like it was. I don't have to take painkillers anymore, but I cannot bend over without feeling it. 

On Thursday it is being taken out. Fingers crossed the hole has healed. 

My girls are counting down to Christmas. They are very excited about it. Their wishes are simple. 6yo wants a skipping rope and 5yo wants Polly Pockets. I love this age. 6yo has asked for a DS, but we've negotiated that she can have one when she's ten years old. Lol. I'll see how we go. I'm putting it off for as long as possible. 

I think I'm pretty much done as far as shopping goes. I'll have to get wrapping. I'm anticipating not being too with it on Friday after the surgery, so I'll have to get everything done today and tomorrow. Plus clean the house! 

Better get cracking! 

Til next time,

Ness.

It's time for me to make a new ticker for my weightloss. I didn't want the first one to just disappear, so I'm placing it here. It may come up in about 80 days saying it hasn't been updated, but at least I know where it is.





So far, right now, I'm in a little pain. I had a stent put in my stomach to cover the fistula so it can heal. It's my surgeon's latest attempt to fix this dam hole!
This stent is frigging big! I thought it would be just big enough to cover the hole, but NO! I had xrays done of it and it's frigging huge! I know it's the full length of my stomach and possibly even further! I know it comes into my oesophagus, cos I've had to be careful about laying down.
I am now on pain killers and I've got to get back to my surgeon on Friday afternoon. I was there on Monday. The pain is like a cramp. I imagine it's what a contraction feels like. I'm guessing it's the top muscle of my stomach trying to shrink around the stent.
So right now I'm just doped up on painkillers and just taking it easy. This thing is supposed to stay in for 6 weeks! It bloody better work this time!! And this pain had better ease, cos 6 weeks on painkillers is a tad too long!

Til next time,
Ness

My 2c worth!

I've just read a blog of a friend who had the same surgery as me earlier this year. She's going along fine, but apparently it's not good enough for her surgeon.
I was going to write a reply, but it's become so long, I've decided to inflict it on everyone here, rather than her poor blog readers. Lol.

You know my story, the complications I've had have not made my journey the usual one for a sleever.
I have not taken the bull by the horns and exercised my heart out and eaten the healthiest options. I have only just gone back to netball in the last couple of months. Leaving netball was not because of the surgery, it was because I was sick of the bitches on the opposition teams try to umpire, playing rough and generally pissing me off! I was not enjoying it and needed a break. But it did mean I was not really doing any exercise.

Foodwise, I did spend the first couple of months being nil by mouth on and off. It did help the scales a hell of a lot!!

After the first 5 months, I'd lost 40 kilos. But then I had an almost 12 month plateau. It took me that 12 months to lose another 10 kilos.  But you know what? This is a lifelong change. I wasn't gaining, I hadn't blown it all and put it all back on like I did in all my previous weightloss attempts. I will get there.
I am getting positive comments all the time and have even had people not recognise me!! Lol

It's not a perfect journey. I do make valiant attempts to sabotage everything. Chocolate is very easy to eat! All the bad stuff is so appealing! Cheezels are my favourite and very, very easy to eat! But the reality is, I cannot physically eat what I used to. I chose the sleeve because no matter how bad I feel, how much I want to eat my feelings, I can't do it! This change is a huge mental adjustment and some days the adjustment isn't as good as others. It's called being human.

In summary to my friend's blog, I believe the surgeon wants his stats to look good. Making my friend feel bad about her achievements is just not fair. But, having said that, I'm glad she has taken it on as a challenge to shake things up. It can only help her health.

Oh, and Darl, if you read this, I noticed you are eating bread. I don't know about you, but I try to avoid it. It hurts when I eat it cos it expands and I found that when I'm sabotaging and eating it anyway, the scales do not budge a millimetre. In my more lucid and in control moments I feel that it is a low value calorie, when I have such precious little room, it should be saved for the good stuff. But feel free to ignore me, cos your experience is different from mine and you may have no problems with it at all!

I am so impressed when someone makes the decision to have this surgery. It's not one that is taken lightly, but we truly don't know the full impact of our life change until we go through it.
To DBfivegirl, stay strong. I'm proud of you.
Rambling over.
Til next time,
Ness.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Flying post today. I am off to netball in about 20 minutes. However, I couldn't let today go past without saying 

I HAVE LOST FIFTY KILOGRAMS!! 

THAT'S 110 POUNDS!!

I got on the scales this morning, fully expecting to have gained. I have been making mudcakes to try and perfect putting a berry swirl through them for my daughter's birthday party. They have been incredibly delicious, but have taken 4 attempts to find the best one. Yesterday's was particularly good. A winner, in fact. So, wasn't expecting the scales to be kind, but they were!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for the hole in my stomach, I had a reglue last week. It didn't even last a week. :-( I haven't told anybody close to me yet. I am disappointed and I can't handle everyone else's disappointment. I know they feel for me, but I am as frustrated as they are. The only other solution being offered is the gastric bypass and I really don't want that. Besides the hole, the sleeve is working for me. I don't need the malabsorbtion that the roux en Y creates. 

The rest of this week is preparing for 5yo's birthday party on Sunday. It's a purple party, so I've made purple sugar for fairy floss, there are purple streamers, balloons, cups, bowls, plates, cutlery, the cake will be iced purple, and anything else I can think of that's purple!! Should be an awesome day! 

I'm going to be busy!!

Til Next Time,

Ness.

PMS sucks!!

I know what it is. Everything that anyone says that can be twisted, gets twisted. I once almost burst into tears because my hubby wanted his scrambled eggs cooked a bit more. Apparently I couldn't even get that right!
Tonight it was a comment from a friend. She'd rung the day before her payday and needed to grab some two minute noodles to feed her kids. I did my usual mock indignation that she would want to get something so expensive and joked that I'd have to put a Woolworths sign on my house. She laughed and said she'd replace them when they went shopping the next day, which they did. No biggy
Tonight they had been given a heap of bread and fruit and gave me a couple of loaves and a bag of fruit. As I was leaving we joked that she should put Coles on the front of her house cos I've already got Woolies. She said "and we don't want those replaced".
Well, have I been stewing on it. It is stupid. It was a joke. I need to pull my head in and not blow this up out of all proportion, but my hormones are causing me to explode at stupid shit and I feel like it's too hard to take a breath and count to 10.
My Stepdaughter is here for the weekend too. She needs to up her medication, so she's manic and repetitive and annoying and I think I am going to need to escape before I try to strangle her. I'm guessing by Saturday night I'll be hiding in my room. We have to wait until she sees a psychiatrist before we can officially up it, but her mum has put it up a small amount just to try and settle her down a bit. She's not coping at all. Hence the more hell than usual.

I feel like an emotional yoyo. One day I'm happy and excited and motivated, the next it's all I can do to get out of bed! Right now I am tired and my head is thinking of all the negative things in my life. I need to get a job, we are going to run out of money, purely because I have no money skills. I have a house that's a pigsty and will never get it clean. I am so lazy, I never get off my arse to get anything done. My friends are not my friends, nobody loves me, I'm all alone and can't talk to anyone about it. I am a horrible person and all these things prove it.

Now, the last counsellor I saw told me to imagine a big negativity switch and I had to visualise myself turning the switch off. Great theory, but in the middle of it all, it's a big crock of shit! When I'm feeling a little stronger, I use the virtual shoebox, where I take the negative thoughts, particularly the ones that appear in the middle of the night, and put them in the shoe box to deal with the next day. More often than not, I completely forget what I was stressing about the night before. If it was a real shoebox, it would be chockers!!
So, now I'll just try to remember to breathe, talk myself off the ledge and maybe just go and take my medication.

Til next time,
Ness

The last week has been emotional, tiring, rewarding and enfuriating.

A couple of my friends lost loved ones last week. One a grandmother, the other a father. I went to one of the funerals on Friday. I knew the dad and he was a lovely man. The funeral was a lovely service and a fitting farewell to him. My friend held up well during the service.
On Saturday and Sunday I helped a friend move house. I didn't stop all weekend. Sunday morning my muscles were screaming at me! I'm still a little sore, but better than I was then! It was a huge job!
Monday I went bowling. Didn't get a single average. :-( Oh well. We still won, thanks to my partner.
I was heading off to lunch and I drove past the optometrist, which reminded me that my 6yo had an appointment this afternoon! I rang to double check. Yep. I had an hour and a half! So, it was a quick lunch, pass the shopping list onto hubby and off again!

I got home and found a letter from the council. Apparently someone has complained about our dogs barking. I know exactly who it was. The same people who told the council about the caravan in our backyard. The people who have moved in with one of my neighbours. After 10 years of peace, they have moved in, taken over and done nothing but whinge about us since. The fact that I blew up at one of them and have barely spoken to them since could be a small issue. I just wish they would fuck off!! But they wont. :-(

It was the final straw today. I just went to bed. I couldn't face any more. I didn't want to deal with the my poor children. I didn't want to talk about the dogs. I just wanted to hide. The friend I helped move called me and helped me see that I couldn't let them win. I was about to put a for sale sign up and get away from here. The dogs were getting taken to the pound. The boarder in the backyard was getting evicted. I was fleeing! But she helped me see sense. I finally got out of bed again, walked into the loungeroom and saw my 6yo cuddling our girl puppy and I knew she wasn't going anywhere.

so, I guess it's time to take them to obedience training!

I still hate my neighbours.

Til next time,
Ness.

Things are going ok tummywise. The glue seems to be holding. I've still got an infection in my side, so I'm still on antibiotics, but fingers crossed all is well!

My kids are home with tonsilitis, so I am being driven mad by 2 girls who are otherwise well, but have a cough that will spread an infection within seconds!!

I just really wanted to update my weight chart. Gastro is a wonderful, short term weightloss tool. :-)

Til next time,
Ness

I finally had my stomach glued on Friday. I was on the other side of town by 7am, in the operating room by 9am and on my way home again by 12:30. I picked up my 6yo from school.
It all went well. I was not allowed to lift anything heavy for a day or so. My side has slowed it's leaking. I still have a bit of infection in there. But I have antibiotics. The amount coming out has certainly slowed, and the stretching of the bottom muscle of my stomach has reduced the pressure built up from eating.
It does mean I have to be careful, because I am not feeling as full, so there is a risk of eating more. I also run the risk of dumping syndrome if I eat anything too rich. I've noticed milk isn't too friendly again.

Now, I need to work on self discipline. It would help if I wasn't up at 1am writing a blog. Now, writing a blog is ok, it's just the time that I'm doing it at which is a little bit of an issue.
Just trying to get some control in a situation that I'm feeling a little out of control of.

Til next time,
Ness.

The holidays are nearly over. :-(

So, it's been a little while, and I've had a chance to sleep and have some fun and generally calm down. I've been to the snow, a day trip to "Fairy Park", we've seen "Cars 2" (awesome movie, totally recommend it!) I spent a day learning how to make bakers delight rolls (cheesymite... mmmm...) and even learned a bit of bollywood dancing and African drumming.

It's been a full on couple of weeks and we've had a ball.

But now, our bank account is empty. I am stuck between getting my side fixed and really needing to get a job and some money in our account. And there is the problem of working out what I am going to do for a job. I haven't got a clue!

A new resume would help too, but what do I write for the last 6 years?

Til next time,
Ness

Ok, so I get onto my blog to have a think about posting and I notice that I haven't updated my weight in over 80 days. This means that I haven't lost any more weight since the 9th April. That is a smidge under 3 months. I decided to do an official weigh in to see if things were bad at all. 107.5kg. Not ideal, but I was expecting to have snuck up to 110kg, so I am happy to have stayed where I am.

I am exhausted tonight. I took my kids to the snow today. We had a ball, but it was a long day. I am now really, really tired.
So, what do I do, instead of going to bed when tired? I open a packet of double coat timtams and start shooting them with coffee. Idiot. I am now feeling sick as well as tired.
I am writing this here because I feel like I am stagnant and I need to start expressing myself and how I have been treating myself so badly.
I am still smoking. I stop again and again, then start, again and again and again.
I have managed to get out for a walk this week. As well as the energy expended to walk to Mount Donna Buang today definitely counts. But I am so tired all the time. I feel so out of control and paralysed by everything. eating, exercising, even cleaning the house. I spend so much time staring at the computer. It is my way of avoiding everything. If I'm playing Frontierville, nothing else exists, or matters, cos I can't see it.

I know that only I can change all these things. The paralysis is psychosomatic. I just have to work out how to get movement again. And permanent movement, not some big effort that fizzles out in a few days.

Why can't I just be happy? Other people do it. It's not that hard, surely? I am so lucky, so why am I so blah?

Til next time,
Ness.

This is a message for my Dad. It's way too big to put in an email, so I've put it on here so he can easily see it 

Happy Birthday, Dad.

Ok, I am officially nuts. I have a negative body image, even after losing all this weight. All I can see is the lumps and bumps and faults.
I can now recognise this as a problem, but I don't know what to do about it. I should be so proud of what I have achieved, but all I see is the stomach, the non moving numbers on the scales, it's just crazy!
What prompted this realisation? Looking at photos. A friend gave me photos from my daughter's birthday party in February this year.
I was looking at this

And thinking "Look at the bumps! Look at the belly!!

These photos were given to me today. So I decided to look at the comparison between February this year and 12 months before, which was pre surgery. There has to be some difference, right? I have been feeling really down on myself lately. Quite depressed, really. I need something to show me that things aren't as bad as in my head, cos my inner voice has been giving me a beating.

 

Wow, Reality hit. I can now see why people tell me I'm fading away to nothing. I can actually really see the difference now. The progress shots in my bathers don't compare.

 

HOLY SHIT!!!

I have come a long way. I forget that, cos I'm in this body every day.

Time to look after this body. It's been through enough already.

Til next time,

Ness.

Just a flying post tonight, I'm stuffed! We put up a trampoline yesterday and today my arms are putting in a late protest. It didn't help that after putting said trampoline up, I then went and did some grocery shopping. I guess the protest is upheld!

Anyhoo, exciting news for me. I have lost 300g and am finally out of the 106's! These days any loss is a celebration for me. My heart can finally see what my head has been saying since I started on Calorie King back in 2007. I know that a 100g loss is still a 100g loss, but when I was 150kg, it felt like jack F***ing sh*t really! It's good, yes, but when you have so many of the little buggers to lose, you just want the scales to hurry up!
But now, even with 30kg still to lose, I am happy with my tiny little losses. I have learned patience, at least with the scales anyway. This is for life and the huge numbers that I pulled when I was in and out of hospital were not going to be sustainable. Now I celebrate the losses and don't sweat the gains, cos I know that eventually it will come back down again.

I just wish I could have seen this when I was at 129kg the first time and everything slowed down. Instead of patience, I let everything slide and my weight crept back up. I guess now I have my sleeve, it's that little tool that can help me get back on track when I'm ready again. Cos, it's not like I can fall off the wagon in a big way! There's no whole mudcakes, or huge servings of KFC for me anymore.

Even with the annoying hole in my side still there, getting the sleeve is the best thing I could have done for myself, physically and mentally. Imagine the difference when I finally get off my lazy arse and do some exercise!!

Til next time,
Ness.

Update!!!!

Wow, if yesterday wasn't exciting enough, I got on the scales this morning and I weighed in at 106kg exactly!! I have reached my goal of 100 pounds lost!!! That's in 10 1/2 months. Very happy today. :-)

Last night I made a decision.  Nothing life changing, but any piece of clothing the I wore at 150kg should no longer be in my wardrobe. Don't get me wrong, I have culled a LOT of clothes, but I have some favourite clothes that I have kept wearing. And I hadn't been bra shopping SINCE LONG BEFORE THE SURGERY!                                                    So this morning my size 26 undercoverwear tshirts that I know swim on me but were so comfortable went in the "to go to a worthy cause" box. And 2 pair of tracksuit pants. I haven't thrown the bras yet, cos I don't have replacements yet. I went to Kmart last night and tried some on, but of course couldn't get my size. Even after losing 48kg I still have trouble finding clothes! At least they're smaller clothes!                                                                                 So, this afternoon, for some strange reason, I decided to weight myself. I normally do this first thing in the morning, after the loo, before breakfast and wirthout clothes to add any extra weight. and only take notice of Sunday's reading. I have been really hungry lately, real, physical hunger, not the "head hunger" I get at night. I guess I wanted to see what damage I'd done. The scales read 106.1kg! my new lowest weight! I couldn't believe it! I am half a pound away from a 100lb loss and my first major goal! 6.2kg and I'm in double figures, my next big goal.        (SORRY, I'M WRITING THIS ON MY PHONE, ANY CAPITALS IS BECAUSE THE CAPSLOCK IS STUCK ON AND I CAN'T FIX IT! OR PRESS ENTER! I WAS JUST SO EXCITED ABOUT ALL MY NEWS, I HAD TO TYPE IT, EVEN THOUGH IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING!

Whingey, Whiney, "Oh get over yourself" Post coming up!

I felt like absolute rubbish last night. I was exhausted. I'd been falling asleep all day. I have been staying up until 1 in the morning playing Facebook games and watching the new channel 11. OMG, I love the shows they have on there. staying up so late watching them is a bad, bad thing!
Just before Christmas I was collateral damage from a small family tiff. A couple of rellies removed me from their friends list on Facebook. One put me back on before new years, the other didn't. At that stage I didn't care, I don't particularly like this person anyway.
I noticed last night she's been adding rellies back onto her Facebook. I have obviously lost the plot because I was upset that she didn't add me!! That was the point that I realised I'm not doing to well at the moment. I am also convinced that one of my friends doesn't like me any more. I must have done something wrong. I always do. I haven't asked her, but we haven't seen each other much in the last couple of weeks, so it's of course my fault!

So lack of sleep, irratic medication, a feeling of being out of control, I'm feeling pretty miserable at the moment.
I have removed almost all the Facebook games again. I have become a Facebook Zombie. My poor kids have missed out on a lot of time with me. It's not fair on them. My house is constantly a bomb site, but I have been able to pretend it doesn't exist because I just keep my eyes on the computer monitor. Time to come out of the coma and start living again.
I was in bed about 2 hours earlier last night. I woke up about 15 minutes before the alarm went off this morning. I feel better if I wake up on my own rather than get woken up. My girls are the same. I hate waking them up, it's much better if they wake themselves up.

So, small changes, hopefully I'll be out of the fog soon. I've managed to stay smoke free, although that's taken a lot of strength and distraction. Hmmm... one addiction for another. Why can't I become addicted to exercise and salad??

Til next time,
Ness.

If there was ever a night that I would break and have a smoke, it would be tonight.
I was up at 7:30, weighed myself, scales up over 109, having a "fat" day. Not going to wear my "skinny clothes" Comfort today.
The plumber arrived early to do the kitchen. No big deal, but I was asleep again by 9:30. When I got up again, at around 11, the girls were driving me batty!! They are so ready to go back to school/kinder, they are bored and are just antagonising each other. I had to get out of the house, so I decided to go shopping. It was just going to be the market, but I went to the shopping centre instead and met up with one of my friends. But before she got there, I had an "attack". I don't know if it's irritable bowel or dumping syndrome, but I get cramps and sweats and end up with the runs (hope you're not eating breakfast while reading this!!) Once it's over I'm fine, often tired, but no longer in pain.
So, I met up with my friend and we went to Kmart. We then run into a "friend" that I had not seen in over 6 months. I miss her, but she walked away from us. I couldn't chase her, this all happened when I had just got out of the hospital for the last time. I was not up to anything. So, she lied to me and told me she's coming to see me on Friday. I hope it made her feel better to say these things, cos she's obviously not having to hear about how much her daughters are missing my kids the way mine are missing hers. It breaks my heart that I can't explain to my girls why they can't see them, cos I really don't know what happened. She got back with her husband and wiped all her friends from the past 3 years. I wasn't the only one. How do I get a 5 year old to move on when I have no answers for her?
Anyway, we said goodbye to her and my real friend was soooo angry!! She'd been wiped too, so the lies were not appreciated.
We finished our shopping and I said goodbye to my friend. I had to get to the market before it closed. That was fairly uneventful, although one of the bosses there complimented me on my weightloss, so that lifted my "fat day" spirits. Would be nice if they offered me a job there, I have put my resume in, but oh well.
I then went to Aldi. I had put my resume in about a week and a half ago. The manager happened to come out of her office as I came into the store. She's hired and all of us unlucky ones will get a letter in the mail. I was shattered. While I didn't know, there was hope. Now I'm disappointed. As I walked away from the manager, I'm in the junk food aisle. It took all my strength to keep myself from saying "fuck it" and just buying all the junk/comfort food I could fit in my trolley. I rang my friend who gave me some wonderful, encouraging words. I felt the sadness and disappointment and reminded myself it's ok to feel this, and that eating was not going to take it away. I also had to remind myself that I am not buying any more rubbish in the groceries. I have to look after my family.
I got the groceries home, 5 hours after I'd left. :-) That's a shopping afternoon! I'd just sat down after putting it all away and Ken and the girls came home, early! There goes my peaceful evening! I shouldn't complain too loudly, I'd been away from them all afternoon. But they are so bored, they need to get back to school, some routine. You'd think that having all the junk gone from the house would calm them down, but no...
So that's my day. While writing this blog I've had another "attack". I know this one is because I made up some brownie mix, full of sugar and fat. I've been having a little bit each night. Possibly why I've been feeling like shite during the last couple of days and definitely why I've been on the loo tonight. I'm about to throw the last of it out. The last of the "junk" in the house.
It's going to take a bit of getting used to, cos even when I was at the market, before I had to talk myself down, I still had to remind myself that buying "treats" for the kids is not good for them. So many biscuits,  lollies, cakes and don't get me started on the deli!! I have to look after them, they are my life.

Til next time,
Ness

Here we go... again!!!

Ok, so it all begins. I finished my last cigarette packet on Thursday night. I haven't had one since, although it's been very tempting to buy some more. I've stayed strong and let the craving pass, so far. I don't want to start again, it's generally when I'm with other smokers that I really, really want one. I get into habits, like having one when I'm on the phone, but I can pretty much break them. It's watching others that makes me want one. Must...Stay...Strong!!!
Today my girls had swimming. It's a very weird week because everything goes back to normal this week, except school which isnt' until Friday. So there were lots of kids with no school and lots of kids having swimming lessons.
Anyway, I took the opportunity to do some laps while 4yo was in her lesson. I took it fairly slowly and the 1/2 hour went by fairly quickly, only 3 or 4 checks of the clock. :-) Not bad for the first one back.
I have also stuck to my plan of not buying any more snacks and junk.  It's kicking in now and I feel like I'm detoxing!! I've had 2 pieces of fruit today, and lots of water. I feel drained and headachy. It could also be because the weather is in the 40sC and the aircon is working it's little butt off!!

...Ok as a mum I tend to write my blogs in between calls of "Muuuum, Mum, Mum...!!!" So since I wrote the last bit a cool change has swept through Melbourne. It is now cooler outside than it is inside, so I've opened up all the windows and let the breeze flow through the house. It's lovely!!!
I'm still tired and headachey, but at least I'm not as hot.

So far so good on day 1. I'm sitting down tonight to plan what I'm going to make this week. I tend to make plans and then don't actually make any of it, so we'll see what happens. I'll have my new stove and the sink connected tomorrow, so it will be soooo much easier to prepare food in the kitchen. Just got to wait on the oven to be connected and I'm set. I'll have a functioning kitchen. :-) Yay!! Just gotta have a fully functioning plan.


Til next time,
Ness

A week and 2 days until school goes back. I have told the kids I am not buying any more treats like lollies, bikkies or chocolate. So it's going to be interesting to see what I can come up with for the lunchboxes.
I'll have my new kitchen by next week, so I am going to really use it and make healthier food for my family. They're not going to appreciate it, but stiff. I am going to do it because I love them and I want what's best for all of us.
Let the battle begin!!!

I personally feel like crap at the moment. I've stuck to my whole "giving myself the holidays off" and I'm kinda over it. I haven't exercised, I've been eating crap, I'm still smoking. The scales haven't gone up too much, thank God, but my face has broken out and my back has been sore, I'm not in a good way. I am feeling overwhelmed and almost paralysed by the renovations at the moment, my kitchen is all over the house and I have just had new wardrobes put in the bedrooms, so the contents of them are all over the place too. I just don't know where to start!  I will be glad when it's all done and we can get back to normal. Then I can turn the place upside down nutritionally. :-)

Til next time,
Ness

What a busy fortnight I've had!!
We started the week ripping our kitchen out. It was fuuuunnnn!!! :-) I got to attack the yellow benchtops and brown cupboards with a hammer! My nephew stayed over and gave us a hand.
So now, all that is in there is the dishwasher, the stove and the microwave. By the end of the month we should have a new kitchen!! God, I hope so, cos everything else is everywhere! There's a cupboard in the entrance way, a pantry in the garage and my dining table is my bench.

Last Monday night my friend lost his mother. She was sick and had been in hospital since boxing day. I have spent the last week helping look after their kids while they make arrangements and helped a little bit with finding clothes for them to wear for the funeral, which was today. It was a lovely, simple service. She was a wonderful woman and loved her family so much, and they loved her even more, if that's possible.

Wednesday was Hubby's birthday. I took him into Melbourne for the night and we saw "The Boy from Oz". It was fantastic!! Todd McKenney is absolutely brilliant as Peter Allen!! We stayed in a lovely hotel and had Ken's favourite dinner... KFC!! :-)

I haven't been worrying about what I'm eating, yet I've managed to drop another 200g below my lowest weight. That was a nice feeling on Wednesday and I left for our night out feeling really good, really skinny! :-)

I have been meaning to measure myself to compare to what I was before. I've taken my Calorie King measurements when I was 150.3kg.

Body Measurements

Chest  Start 148cm, tonight 120cm. Lost 28cm
Waist  Start 138cm, tonight 110cm Lost 28cm
Hips   Start  160cm, Tonight 132cm Lost 28cm
Thigh   Start  76cm,  Tonight 63cm  Lost 13cm

Hows that for even, all over weightloss?? :-) Pretty damn happy with those numbers!!
It's funny, I only got to have a good look at my body when we were staying in the hotel. It had mirrorred doors in the bedroom. I don't have a full length mirror at home. I am smaller!! I know that sounds bloody stupid, especially with those numbers, but I hadn't really seen it. I look down and all I see is the baggy bits, the stomach still hanging down, and don't get me started on those deflated balloons called boobs!!
I get lots of compliments, but I didn't see what everyone else saw.

And after the holidays, these numbers will be getting even smaller. It's starting to get beyond my wildest dreams. I can set goals and reel off numbers, but to actually get there is going to be fantastic!!

Til next time,
Ness.