My Progress

Monday, January 12, 2009

Here's an idea that just popped into my head tonight. My night time eating, blowouts, binges, whatever name feels appropriate. They are not logical, they are not good for me. I don't seem to care by this time of night. I choose to make bad choices for myself.

One of the reasons for them? I have no witnesses. Nobody to be accountable to, nobody to be my conscience, to make me feel guilty for eating too much or make me feel guilty for being a bad role model. It's like letting my hair down at the end of the day. I don't have to be seen to be doing the right thing.

I'm not saying this justifies my behaviour, I subscribe to Dr Phil's philosophy that in order for a behaviour to continue, we must be getting some payoff from it. I get away with the eating because there is nobody there to stop me, including myself. Maybe I eat because I'm on my own. Ken goes out to his doghouse. I sit on the computer playing whatever game until my eyes start falling out of my head.

My counsellor feels that I am wasting my brain at home. My homework is to work out what makes me really happy.

Off the top of my head is co-ordinating playgroup. Being able to plan each week, organise dinners and excursions outside the sessions. I've really enjoyed the last year. And now that I know what I am doing, it's going to be a blast this year!

As for what else makes me happy... I'll have to think about that one.


  1. Hey Ness, night-times are my binge times too. I can be "good" all day long. I get home and then it all falls to pieces - not as often as it used to mind, but it's still a problem I have to overcome. Have you tried OA?

  2. Hi Ness

    Firstly I must say thank you for visiting my blog and posting a comment. I really appreciate it. You have no idea how motivating it is - or maybe you do given you're a fellow blogger.

    I've just had a read of every post in your blog.

    I only have 2 comments to make:

    1. You are an inspiration. I have been struggling with losing weight for the couple of years. My goal is to lose 25 kilos...well 26.1 to be exact. I have lost about 8kgs to date - since about January last year - but I've been basically sitting between 80 and 78 kgs for months! You have lost 20kgs! How great is that! I am so far away from even thinking I'll reach that goal. Good on you! Keep going! You will get there!

    2. Thank you for telling me to cut some slack. I'd like you to do the same. But I think it's ok to say it's ok...but don't dwell on that. Don't stay in that zone. We both need to push ourselves out of our comfort zone to get where we want to be. What do you think?

    3. I decided to make another must make some time for yourself to do this as do I! The planning and the doing!

    I look forward to going through the journey with you.

    Cheers to our happy 2009.